When black meets Acorn
by polka-dotted-pengiuns
Summary: Artemis is having a normal day until some strange things start happening. Could it have something to do with the recent Alien sightings? Pg just to be safe. Artemis FowlMen in Black crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**When Black meets Acorn**

By: Polk-dotted-pengiun-one

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis fowl or Men in Black. I wish I did though.

**Chapter 1**

Artemis Fowl was sitting in his room looking out his window watching the sunset. While watching the swirls of pinks and purples, he wondered when he would next see Holly or Foaly. Amazingly, he sort of missed that sarcastic centaur. It had been a month since he had stopped Opal Koboi (yet again) in one of her take over the world by destroying the LEP plans. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

" Who do you think?"

" Enter, Butler."

" Your parents wanted me to tell you to finish your homework while they're shopping."

" What are they shopping for?"

" Food, something that normal people need to ingest to live."

" I know what food is, thank you."

" I'm going to check some of the security cameras. Just finish your homework."

" Finished."

"Really?" Butler said as he picked it up from Artemis's desk and examined it. "Most of these don't have work. Math teachers these days usually want that."

" A monkey could do that homework, and just because I don't show my work the teacher automatically thinks I cheated, so I don't get the credit. That's why I have the C in Math, by the way."

" Artemis, more often than not you confuse me." Butler sighed as he shut the door and continued down the hall.

When Butler had left, Artemis got up from the window sill and walked over to his computer. Once he got there, he open up his drawer and lifted up the secret compartment with the communicator that Holly had given him after their last adventure.

While staring at it, Artemis wondered if their would be any more fairy expeditions for him and Butler. With that Artemis got on his computer and decided to see if he could find any one who was so freaking rich that they needed to be stolen from.

" Artemis, dinner."

" Coming Mother." Artemis looked at the computer clock, 8:05. Wow, he had been on the computer for 2 hours with out even noticing it. He saved the page he was on to his favorites and logged off his computer with the satisfaction that he found a company that sounded perfect to steal from: some weird company called MIB. It took some real hacking to find, but a little fairy magic on your hard drive never hurt anyone.

"Artemis, I'm not calling you again."

" Coming," Artemis called as he ran out of his room as fast as a scrawny, athletically inept 14 year old could run.

Artemis walked into the dinning room with a look of ease on his face and sat down at the table.

" Arty, you look happy," his mother stated. "Did you finish you homework?"

" As a matter of fact I did Mother, and I found out some interesting information. So what's for dinner?"

" I don't know. Your father insisted that he cook tonight, which kinda scares me because he hasn't cooked in I don't know how long." Artemis was speechless for a second then asked:

" So, where is father?" Just then Artemis Senior ran into the room (for which would shock many, considering he was still in crutches) wearing a weird mask.

" BOOGA BOOGA!"

"AAAAHHH!" Artemis yelled as he fell off his chair onto the silk rug. He didn't do well with surprises. " What in the world is that?" Artemis inquired as he pulled himself back into his chair.

" Are you okay Arty?" his father asked as he took off the mask.

" Yes, I'm fine. But what is that?"

" It's a mask we bought from some really short man in the parking lot. He seemed poor and he was selling it so we thought we'd help him out some," Angeline answered.

" Yeah he said it was an alien or something, but aliens are about as real as fairies," Artemis just sort of stood there with a blank look on his face.

" Artemis, are you alright?" His mother asked. Artemis snapped back into reality.

" Oh yes, I'm fine."

" Well, are we going to eat or are we just going to sit here?" Artemis senior asked with a tone of humor in his voice.

" Okay, dear, we'll eat." But before she'd said anything Artemis senior had already walked into the kitchen. CRASH! "I'd better go help your father."

A/N: This is my first story so don't be too mean. and if the grammer is bad, I'm sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yet again don't own AF or MIB

After dinner Artemis crawled upstairs to his room. As tired as he was, Artemis still wanted to print out the info on that one company, MIB. _I wonder what MIB stands for,_ thought Artemis while walking down the hall.

When Artemis got to his room he turned on the light. Then he walked over to his computer. After he got there Artemis logged back on to his computer and opened the net page. _Hmm, I wonder why this page never showed up before, I've done a lot of searches similar to this and nothing like this showed up. That is, nothing like this has shown up before I added fairy magic to my computer. _Artemis just stared at the screen with a look that said he was thinking.

He decided he would print off the information and call Holly about it later. When he looked at his clock again it read 9:45. Seeing it was sort of late and he was more tired than usual Artemis printed off the page and hid it in the secret compartment with the communicator. Then he walked over to his dresser and put on his silk business ties pajamas, and crawled into his bed. Falling asleep instantly.

It had barley been an hour when Artemis awoke to his mother standing over him with what looked like a knife. She looked like she'd just seen a Pillsbury commercial. How she hated that dough boy. He saw her eyes and had a good but illogical idea of what had happened to her.

" Mother?" Artemis stammered. " What are you doing?"

" I'm doing what the nice voice told me to do, honey." _But he's your son. But the nice voice said this would tickle him. The nice voice wouldn't lie._

" Wouldn't you like to reconsider this?"

" No, honey, I don't think so." And Angeline Fowl brought the knife down.

"BUTLER!" Artemis yelled dodging the knife by a few inches by moving his head. Naturally Butler ran into the room. Seeing that Mrs. Fowl was going insane (again) he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off Artemis.

" Run!" Butler yelled. Artemis didn't waste time to argue, but first he ran to his computer desk and grabbed the communicator while also accidentally grabbing the page he had printed off earlier that night. After that, he ran out of the room to the closet and locked himself in. It was the closet Butler had specially designed in case Artemis needed to hide for some reason. Two feet thick solid steel. Fire proof and bullet proof.

After Artemis had left, Butler was still dealing with the flailing Mrs. Fowl. Once Butler had gotten the knife away from her he tried to reason with her to get her to sit down. That obviously failed because she picked up Artemis's nightstand, which is quite amazing considering her small body size. Then she hit Butler over the head with it, knocking Butler out. After that was done she continued down the hallway searching for her son.

Artemis, scared to death in his little closet, was trying to get a hold of Holly.

" Holly, come in. Holly, do you hear me? Holly, pick up!" Finally after trying for what seemed half an hour there was a response.

" Artemis, what the heck is going on? You sound like one of those annoying squeaky toys. I'm on my vacation here."

" I apologize, it is just that my mother has gone insane with a knife and-" BOOM BOOM there was a knock on the door. " Butler is that you?"

" Yes, Artemis. you need to come out now your mother would like to see you. She's better now. So you should come out."

" I think I will stay in here."

" Then I'll have to come and get you. With force." Frankly that was all the proof Artemis needed. Every one in his house was going crazy.

" Oh, and one more thing, Holly, Butler's also gone insane. So a little help would be appreciated."

" I'm on my way. Wait. Give me permission to enter the house."

" Holly, if I live through this, you can enter the house any time you like."

" I'm on my way."

On Holly's end, she was actually having a good time in the forest. She wasn't really on vacation. She was really working on a case that got her to come above ground. Something that she was thankful for.

After getting Artemis's call Holly pulled some not-exactly-legal wings from her backpack and a not-exactly-legal new weapon. Foaly was such a good friend. She set the gun for low power and was off. Unfortunately, she didn't have anything to make her invisible so she would have to fly fast. _I just know Sool is going to get me for this._

Back to Artemis. Although the door was fire proof and bullet proof Artemis did not think it was Butler proof. While he was "sitting" in the back corner behind all the cloths he was also thinking. _They've been mesmerized. No that's impossible I didn't give any fairy, but Holly to enter and that was 10 minutes ago, 11 before every one in the house went insane. But who's to say my parents told them they could come in by accident? _While Artemis was thinking of how in the world his mother, got mesmerized and how Butler got mesmerized with in minutes of his mother Butler was trying to get through the door he had designed to protect Artemis. After awhile Artemis stopped hearing the banging at the door. A few minutes later he heard a tick tick tick tick sound. _Oh crap._ Artemis thought. **BOOM!**

A little hole was blown in the door. _The mini bombs we have in the basement, I knew I should have put a lock on those._ Then Butler's bloody hand reached in and unlocked the door with ease. Between the door creaking open and the roar of the chainsaw, Artemis swore he saw his short life flashing before his eyes.

The door was all the way open. Butler had the same look in his eyes as his mother did. Only it was a lot more scarier because he was 7 feet tall, had hands were bloody for some unknown and sickening reason, and he had a chainsaw. Most people would consider this a bad combination.

" Artemis, you'll pay for talking back to me today." Artemis was at a lost for words. He severely disliked it when this happened.

Yet he still managed,"Are you sure what I said would be counted as talking back?" Butler had started walking in the room. Thankfully Holly flew in and started shooting everywhere randomly. After missing Artemis by a miracle…. several times, Holly finally hit Butler. A rage of electricity surged through his body and knocked him out (barely).

" Are you alright Artemis?" Holly asked.

" Yes, I think I'm alright. How'd you get here so fast?"

" You seem to have this thing for luck, Mud Boy. I was above ground at the time. Come on we should get out of here, and get a hold of Foaly. Maybe he can shed light on what happened."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Disclaimer: Don't own AF or MIB

The rest of the night was mostly a blur. Holly had to hold him under the arms while flying. Something Artemis didn't think highly of. Also, they weren't flying very high so his bare feet some times came close to hitting the ground. Holly didn't let him change out of his PJ's either. After flying for what seemed all night they landed in a forest next to a stream. It also happened to be a shuttle port area.

Holly pulled out her communicator.

"I'm calling Foaly. Maybe he can help us." While Holly was trying to get a hold of Foaly on her communicator, Artemis was trying not to completely slice his feet open. He was mostly failing.

"Holly, any chance we could stop at a bank or something then maybe a store so I could get some _thing _other than pajamas?" Holly, of course, wasn't listening. She had finally gotten a hold of Foaly.

"Foaly we have a bit of a problem."

"I'll say." The sarcastic centaur answered. "Sool is running around the place yelling about, 'how the hell did a civilian get wings and a weapon?' Trouble is trying to defend you and it's really quiet a sight." Holly blushed when she heard Trouble was defending her, and then zapped back to reality.

"A fairy somehow got into Artemis's house and mesmerized his mother and Butler to kill him. Any thoughts?"

"That Artemis has some serious family issues that he needs to work out."

"Foaly! This is serious! Look, we need to get down there. Any way we could without being noticed?"

"Sure let's go to the genius centaur to solve all our problems. He said sarcastically Well let me see." There was lots of typing at speed that would shame a secretary. " You'll have to take a commercial flight and I think you'll have to go as luggage."

" Don't they check the luggage?"

"Yes but I, the great Foaly can make it so two very large boxes with little holes have already been checked. Just get 2 boxes and, before getting in, tell me, and I can make a stamp show up on the communicator screen. Then just press it onto the boxes, crawl in, and be prepared for a very uncomfortable 2 hour long ride."

"Joyful. When's the next flight?"

"5 hours."

"Ok, that gives us a little bit of time I'll call you when it's almost time." Holly hung up and turned to Artemis. "Let's get to a bank. Then you can buy your little mud man clothes. THEN we get the boxes and go to Haven."

"Sounds fair."

After more unpleasant flying, they finally reached a town. Holly stayed in a dark alley while Artemis got the money and some clothes. They were in some weird town where banks are open 24 hours 5 days a week. If looks could kill, Artemis would be dead, on the floor twitching. But he couldn't really blame them. He was a 14 year old boy in PJ's walking in a bank in the middle of the night.

"May I help you young man?" The creepy looking lady with big purple glasses asked.

"Yes I would like to make a withdraw."

"Do you have any ID?"

"Yes I do, Madam." Artemis said as he pulled out the communicator, which he programmed to have his ID on it. He showed it to the lady though she did not seem happy.

"How much would you like to withdraw Mr. Fowl?" Giving him a little withdraw form.

" I think 700 pounds should be enough," ( I have no idea how much 700 pounds is really worth, but just go with it) Artemis answered handing her back the form.

"You do know that if this is some sort of identity theft we will know who you really are in a matter of hours right?"

"Madam I know perfectly well of this, and if you don't believe I am the real Artemis Fowl, well, that's too bad." Artemis said rather smugly when the woman gave him the money. Once he had the money Artemis walked out of the bank, and went to the clothes store a couple of yards away. _It is going to be a very long night. Not that it already hasn't. _

AN: By the way this story will have a bit of Trouble/Holly. But it won't be solely based on romance.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

A/N: by the way for the third chapter, I also don't own Pillsbury, or any other companies that appear in this fic. And the same don't own MIB or AF.

After even more death looks at the department store and at the hardware Artemis finally had a decent pair of clothes and two good sized boxes with holes in them. Walking back to the dark alley were Holly was waiting, Artemis wondered how they were going to shut the boxes with them inside.

"Took you long enough did they not have socks in your size?"

"They were giving me funny looks."

"Whatever lets just get the boxes and fly back to the shuttle port."

"Holly, how are we supposed to shut these with us in them?"

"Easily. First I seal you in and add the stamp. Then I add the stamp on mine and get in. After that, Foaly sends really fast, really hot, heat waves from the communicator and the wood shuts."

"Wood doesn't bind shut when exposed to heat."

"I know. That's why I have this," Holly pulled out a long strip of metal from her backpack. " You mud men really shouldn't throw stuff like this away in the forest so light-heartedly." After the explanation, Artemis seemed mostly satisfied and held on to the cable where the boxes were held on for dear life.

When they got to the shuttle port, Holly showed Artemis how to get in. Of course he had to basically walk on his knees to even somewhat blend in. After many more evil and mean looks the duo finally made it to the luggage terminal.

"Ok, Foaly we're in. Lead the way."

"First put Artemis in the box. Then after shutting it press the screen of the communicator to it **gently** for 3 seconds."

"You heard the man, Artemis. Get in the box."

"Are sure this is necessary? I mean we could-" but Artemis didn't get a chance to finish because Holly had already stuffed him in the box and shut the lid. After some poor excuse for hammering, swearing, and Artemis's complaining, the box was shut and labeled.

"Now Holly. Your turn."

"Fun."

"First label the box."

"Done."

"Get in." Some grumbling and swearing was heard from Holly in the background.

"Done."

"Put the slab of metal over the crack, put the communicator close to it so it can heat the metal, and prepare for one uncomfortable ride."

"Fun," mumbled Holly as she climbed in the box.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Don't own AF or MIB (NEVER WILL)

It goes with out saying that the shuttle ride was less than a first class ride. First the loader workers decided not to even glance at the fragile signs on both the boxes. Being tossed around and jumbled about was not one of Holly's favorite activities.

After the throwing, kicking, and just all around unpleasantness, they finally took off. Artemis, hadn't got really any sleep that night, he tried to get some in his little wooden box. But it's hard to sleep when your feet are in your face and the smell of motor oil is stronger than you'd rather breathe.

In Holly's box things weren't much better. She had gotten stuck to a package with a music box in it that hadn't been turned off. The song of evil was playing: The piazza song. _Why me?_ Holly thought. And as luck would have it, it's a two hour-long ride. So despite the horrible circumstances Holly curled up in her box and tried to get some sleep.

When Holly awoke next, an hour and a half had gone by. _Ugh. Next time I fly, I'm going first class. _Seeing that the trip of evilness had gone by, Holly thought that it might be a good idea to find Artemis and tell him.

"Artemis, you alive?" After a few minutes of grumbling and a by the sound of it a loud head bang, Artemis answered.

"Yes I'm alive, but not for long if this doesn't stop."

"Don't worry, the ride should be abo-" She was abruptly cut off by a sudden stop. Apparently they had come in early. While listening to hundreds of fairy people exit, Holly entertained her self with thinking of a horribly painful situation for Sool to be in. She chuckled to herself when she thought of a particularly good one, in which Stool is being attacked by Boo-Bahs while being held down by evil rabbits and having his eyes gouged out by Trolls, who are armed with plastics sporks. This was one of her better tortures for Sool.

One the other hand, Artemis was still trying to figure out how his mother and Butler had become mesmerized. I didn't make sense. He hadn't invited any fairy into his house. He wasn't enemies with any fairies in particular. He did find Sool quite annoying though, and Sool didn't seem to like him. But try to kill him? That isn't logical at all. Then again some fairies have this uncanny ability to hate him enough to kill him. _Stop it!_ Artemis yelled at himself._ Next thing you know I'll believe aliens exist._

"Spankey! There are two more boxes left. Get 'em would ya!" Gasp! Could it be other voices? They were finally getting out of the boxes of evil. After another thrashing.

Once Holly & Artemis had gotten loaded on the luggage car, driven to luggage pick up, and smacked around for another half an hour, they could come out of their little boxes. It wasn't the easiest of all tasks. First Holly had to call Foaly and get him to make up some reason why a human would be in Haven. It was a pretty lousy excuse. Apparently, Artemis had found out about the people and needed to be driven all the way to Haven on a commercial flight, just to get his mind wiped. And he was brought down by an ex-officer, but it was the best Foaly could come up with.

After that was done, Holly had to kick open her box, which was a lot harder than she thought it would be. Apparently, steel is hard. Who knew? Then, Holly decided to take her sweet time getting Artemis's box undone, so that caused a little time delay from Holly, and a lot from Artemis throwing a big fuss. Yet again, if looks could kill.

AN: If it sounds kinda boring now, don't worry it gets better. REVIEW PLEASE!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Same note as all the others

More fussing. Finally Holly opened Artemis's box. Although Artemis wasn't really one to get mad, his face showed different. Much of it was red and Holly could've sworn she saw a bit of steam coming out of his ears. Artemis Fowl mad. That would be an interesting situation.

"Holly, kindly get a hold of Foaly and find out what is going on here."

"Okay, mud boy, but don't let my fun get you mad." Holly said reaching for the communicator. " Foaly, we're here. Any way of getting us to LEP headquarters with out people going into a frenzy?"

"Let me see. I _could_ make it say in the data base that Trouble brought you guys down for something. That would make you happy wouldn't it Holly?"

"Foaly!" Holly yelled while her face was turning bright red. People might think she was the daughter of Root or something. " We are stuck in a terminal with fairies, and what not, staring at us like we're trolls in cages-"

"Well, you probably look like it, yelling into a little computer. I'll send Trouble in five minutes tops. Too-ta-loo." Holly looked like she was about to explode. Raising her arm to throw the communicator to the ground and smash it into little itty-bitty pieces, then vaporize those pieces with the gun.

"Holly, I don't think destroying the communicator will help things." Holly lowered her arm, not very willingly though. Artemis had to help it along. "Okay, so what's going on?"

"Trouble's coming to get us and drop us off to talk to Foaly."

"How long?"

"Five minutes to-"

"I'm here." Trouble gloated, walking up to them. "You guys are lucky that I was patrolling the terminals."

"Yes, aren't we special" Holly murmured as they walked out side.

"Sadly, we have nothing to drive so we'll have to walk."

"Could the day get any more fun?"

Walking might have been a mistake. The second they walked out, people started staring as if they had two heads. Three people came up and asked if the People had been discovered and the alarms didn't go off. Two people asked to see Trouble's badge. And one person at the sight of Artemis ran away screaming, shortly followed by running into a building.

After walking through chaos, distress, and just plain rudeness. They arrived at LEP headquarters. Foaly was at the door to greet them. His face had the look of smugness and worry, all swirled into one.

"About time you guys got here." The centaur said. "Luckily for you guys, Sool had to leave. Said something about top-secret business. But I think he'll be back soon so let's hurry our slow selves into my office."

" Nice to see you too, Foaly," Artemis said with just a hint of sarcasm. They entered LEP. Walking down to Foaly's office was just as bad if not worse, because now the people who were staring had guns. What fun! Foaly opened up the swooshing door, with lots of little buttons, codes, and stuff to his office.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're a bit on the paranoid side?" Trouble inquired. Of course, he had never been in Foaly's office before.

"Yes, but usually when they tell me that, I tell them that when humans discover the people, not due to any of my stuff by the way, that I will laugh at them in my safe little box."

"Very amusing, Foaly. But can we get down to business?" Holly asked.

REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Same note as always**

Foaly told them about how weird things had been happening lately. From Artemis's parent's and Butler being mesmerized, to strange disappearances of mud men world leaders. And some places like forests are having odd sightings. Not the usual UFO sightings either, because when the eyewitnesses were questioned again they had no memory of seeing the UFO.

"That's odd," Artemis stated, "but I don't see how they are connected. Unless aliens are invading and I think Foaly would know long before if that was happening."

"Thank you Artemis. You know, no one here appreciates my skills." Just then a loud ruckus was heard 3 floors down and through a supposedly sound proof wall.

"A useless lead! That centaur better have insurance, what in the d'arvitwas he thinking! Just wait till I get a hold of him!"

"I thought you said he left, saying he had important LEP business to take care of." Holly said.

"He did." Foaly replied with some worry in his voice. " I think you guys might want to hide. Sool doesn't seem in one of those miracle forgiving moods."

" I'm going to agree with you there," Trouble stated. Taking a few sheets of cam foil off his belt and telling Holly and Artemis to go under the desk while he hid behind a shelf. Sool's already loud voice was getting louder. Without question Holly and Artemis took the piece of cam foil and hit under the desk and Trouble hid behind the shelf. They had good timing because the second Trouble was hidden, Sool busted into the room, his face rather red. Someone could have mistaken him for the late Julius Root.

"HORSE BOY! THOSE NEW COMUNICATORS YOU GAVE ME SUCK! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME FROM A HEADACHE FROM TALKING IN DIFFERENT LANGUGES, AND HERE I AM FEELING LIKE MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!"

"Did you ever stop to think that might be because you are yelling loud enough to shatter glass?"

"Don't toy with me donkey boy. What does the LEP pay you for? Making little toys?" Sool yelled walking up to the desk and examining the parts and pieces on it. " And what's this? A little toy?" Sool asked picking up little spec most people would have passed by.

"My new invention called the freckle-cam. Stick it on your face. and instant camera. Much easier than the lens cam, and a lot harder to not-"

" I don't care what it is!" Sool yelled throwing the spec. "Just fix the bloody communicators. By tomorrow." Sool whispered in that kind of voice that would haunt your dreams. And slammed the swooshing door behind him.

"Nice guy," Artemis sounded. Getting out from the cam foil and from under the desk. "No, really."

"Yeah, I miss Julius. That least he had a reason the yell at- HEY! The freckle cam is missing!"

"Really Foaly. Is this the time?" Trouble asked.

"Yes it is. That little camera was the only one I had and it was going to revolutionize the LEP." Foaly said searching through the mess on the desk.

"Foaly, something's beeping on the screen." Holly mentioned looking at the screen. Foaly looked up from his evasive search to look up at the computer screen.

"Now how did that happen? The freckle cam has been turned on." Foaly walked up to the computer and started his LEP famous lighting fast keyboarding. An image looking as if someone was walking down the hall appeared. "That FEIND! He criticizes my work, then he steals it! How dare he!"

"Foaly, I don't think he meant to." Artemis told the centaur. "For one thing he doesn't even seem to notice it. I suppose it is pretty small."

"I need some way to get him fired." Trouble said, rubbing his hands together. "Let's watch it."

An: Sool has such an attitude. The Holly Trouble is coming up soon.!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Don't own MIB or Artemis Fowl

(MIB head quarters)

Agent Kay & Jay were not having one of their better weeks. First, the Queen of England, President of the United States, and the United Nations representative for Australia had disappeared. Lots of alien spacecrafts were being spotted. That meant they had to neuralyze them, which took too much time.

At the moment, the partners were in the president of the MIBs' office (Zed). Jay really didn't know what was going on considering what they were talking about was before his time. This wasn't what he was used to.

"Those damn fairies keep hacking into our files!" Zedcomplained.

"Do they know it's MIB?" Kay asked.

"No, we neuralyzed the lot of them after that Alfalfa case."

"Sir," Jay interfered, "Who are we talking about? Some odd alien species I haven't heard of?"

"No Jay," Kay answered, "About 16 years ago before you joined we had a little crisis. A big herd of, what we thought were aliens, got onto earth and we didn't know any thing about them. Well, it turned out they were what this' underground civilization of fairies' called trolls. We had no idea how to fight them so we got a little help. They helped us fight them and get them back underground. But since MIB is to be kept secret we had to neuralyze them."

"And now they're hacking into our database? How?"

Zedtook over this one. "They got a new member on their staff. A centaur named Foaly. Won't leave our computers alone."

"SSSooo we're going to neuralyze him right?"

"Yes, but first we have to finish the case we're on now. Why are we having more unidentified ships coming to Earth?" Kay told his younger and more naïve partner.

"All we know is that they are all planet Klumofolf ships,"Zedsaid. "You two are going to the area where the ships have been landing. If you find anything report back here."

"Got it," Kay said, walking out of the room with Jay.

It turned out watching the freckle cam had been a good idea. When they watched it, Trouble got more than enough info to get Sool fired. First it had been routine. Walking around yelling at people for no reason. Telling people to got off their lazy butts and do their job. Then after about five minutes Sool said he had to go on another top-secret LEP mission.

Getting on the shuttle for LEP Sool seemed to be in actually happy mood. This disturbed even Artemis.

" What do you think he's doing?" Trouble asked.

"I don't know," replied Foaly, "but I have noticed that Sool has gone on these secret missions a lot lately. And the dates of the _secret missions_ almost match with the dates of the UFO sightings."

"What a odd and most likely planned coincidence," Artemis stated.

"We need to take this to the Board. Get Sool fired," Holly told Trouble.

"We need more proof Holly, so watch let's watch a bit more."

And watch they did. The entire shuttle ride Sool was singing the evil, and most hated piazza song. Holly was doing her best not to fall on the floor screaming and twitching. While she didn't fall and scream, Holly couldn't keep from twitching. _Of all the songs, of all the people, of all the times why the piazza song and why now? I swear I will hurt the next person who sings it._ Other than Sool's bad singing he didn't seem to be doing anything wrong.

After the shuttle ride, Sool shielded and started to fly.

"Where do you think you're going Mr. Boss man?" Foaly said finding Sool's coordinates. He was flying to Missouri in the Ozarks, where most of the sightings were. The deep woods were hard to see through at night. It was a cloudy night, so there was no light. Artemis wondered how in the world he could see.

Then through the trees there was a light. A bright green glowing light that didn't seem earthly. Sool walked toward it.

" If that isn't suspicious then I don't know what is," Trouble declared.

"I'm going to agree with you," Artemis said.

"Shh," Foaly ordered. "There's someone there."

Agent Jay & Kay had gotten to the Ozarks and were trying to find the clearing they were told to go to. Frank wasn't really helping things. Jay wasn't really a big fan of nature. He was more of a city boy. The stubbing of the toe (multiple times) did not do much to improve his mood. Kay on the other hand enjoyed being out of the city. No subway worm Jeff to deal with. No cigarette-smoking worms, and no neuralyzing each person he sees on the street. But he did miss blowing the head off of his good friend, Jeebs.

They had been walking for what seemed like hours. Jay had nearly fallen in the lake. For a highly trained secret government agent, Jay wasn't exactly the sharpest knife. He refused to use a flashlight because he thought that who ever they were going to see would notice. Kay thought Jay was being an idiot and brought a flashlight for him and Frank. It attached to his collar.

When they got to the look out spot, the agents were, for the most part, beat. Kay was a bit on the older side. Not too old for the work, mind you. And Jay wasn't much of the outdoorsman.

"So, we're just supposed to wait here for something to happen?" Jay asked.

"You were in the room Jay, you should know."

"Hey, listening is _your_ job."

"You've been in this job for years and you're still a rookie kid." Just then, a huge ship that had bright green windows appeared in the clearing. It, apparently had a cloaking device. Programmed to turn on when a specific person walked into the clearing. Frank was the first to see the little short man walk up to the ship.

"Hey guys, look at th-" Frank didn't get a chance to finish because Jay had become an expert in shutting Frank up, but Jay and Kay both saw the little man. He had pointy ears and looked no taller than 3 ft. He was wearing what looked like a uniform.

"Is that some alien, or those fairy people?" Jay whispered.

"A fairy, who looks like the new commander of their police squad LEP." The door opened and an alien came out that had 4 legs, tentacles for arms and blue spiky knee length hair.

"Sool," the blue haired alien said, "come in and we can discuss our plans."

AN: Told you MIB would come in, in the eighth chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Same note as always

"Aliens exist," Artemis stammered. "This defies all laws of reason. There is no wa-"

"Artemis!" Holly yelled shaking Artemis. "Get a hold of yourself." Trouble was staring blankly at the screen. He knew Sool was an ass, but he didn't think he would side with aliens. He didn't even know aliens existed.

"Shut up you two!" Foaly told Holly and Artemis. "We need to watch this and get all the proof possible." Foaly watched the screen with extreme intent now he knew Sool didn't know the freckle cam was on him. And by what Foaly could tell, the camera was on Sool's right ear. Another fact troubled Foaly. Aliens existed, and had existed for a long time. And he never knew.

On the screen Sool was in the ship, talking to the captain in what seemed like a living room. Foaly hit the translate button so everyone in the room could understand what they were saying.

"So Withahalf, how have you been?" Sool asked the alien across from him while sipping something that seemed like wine.

"Fine. Has the destruction of Fowl and Short come to be?"

"Fowl has. I mesmerized his parents in the parking lot to give me permission to enter the house. His own mother and bodyguard killed him. A most fitting death."

"And Short?"

"I had the goblin gangs in Haven deliver a troll to Ms. Short's apartment/office. It should be there about now."

"Good. Those two are the only ones standing in our way. With them gone, Earth and the underworld will be ours."

"Yes, we will succeed were Brair Cudgeonand Opol Koboifailed." Sool chuckled to himself.

"What about that centaur Foaly? He doesn't seem stupid."

"I'm his boss, he has to do what I say, and he barely comes out of his little box of an office anyway. Are the so-called meteors ready?"

"Yes. In 48 hours they will hit in various spots on the earth. And robots will come out to cause havoc. Then, we will promise to make them stop if they make us rulers of the world and underworld. There's no doubt a few will hit hard enough to go to the underworld."

"So, the fairies will have no choice. And with your planets' technology to make all of their weapons fairy and mud men unusable, victory will be ours easily." Both of the evil dictators had nice hardy laugh at this.

Agent Jay and Kay unfortunately didn't have the technology with them to hear what they were saying. And they didn't have any fun little weapons. So they really didn't have any choice but to head back to head quarters.

"What do you think this means?" Jay asked.

"I really couldn't say kid, The People, as they're called. Don't usually come above ground. And I doubt they usually see aliens."

"Well," Jay said putting on his sunglasses just to be dramatic. "Let's go." And Kay pressed a button, and the car turned into a flying jet car, with huge thrusters in the back.

"Try not to go too fast." Frank stammered. "I get car sick."

"No problem," Kay said with a chuckle, and zoomed off back to New York.

Back in Foaly's office the general mood was shock. First, there are really aliens. Second Sool is trying to take over the world with said alien. And third the freckle cam worked.

"We need to call up a board meeting now." Trouble told Foaly.

"You're right. I'm getting one organized as we speak."

"Good, Holly, Artemis, you guys are going to have to stay with me. Is Mulch at your apartment/ office Holly?"

"No he's on vacation in Atlantis."

"Okay, I hope you didn't have anything you're too attached to there." With that said Trouble left the room with Holly and Artemis following him to the broad meeting room. It was time to get their favorite fairy dictator put in jail.

An:REVIEW


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Same note as always.

A/N: This is the Holly/Trouble chapter.

The board meeting didn't go exactly as planned. Sool some how got the message and showed up to defend himself. Unfortunately Foaly had programmed the freckle cam technology to only show up on his computer until he got the bugs worked out. So, they had little to no proof.

"Mr. Board members," Sool told the broad members smoothly, "I was a the Ozarks arresting a criminal. He was at the surface with no visa. And all my other officers were busy."

"Who would this criminal be, Commander Sool?" A board member asked.

"Why Mulch Diggims, he can't seem to keep himself out of trouble."

"THAT'S A LIE!" Holly screamed. "HE'S IN ATLANTIS! CALL AND ASK HIM!"

"If that's what you want, Ms. Short, then I will," Sool dialed Mulch's number on his phone. No answer. Then he called high security prison he had supposedly sent Mulch to. "It's for you," Sool said handing Holly the phone. Holly grabbed the phone with shaky hands.

"Mulch? Is it really you?"

"Yes, Holly. They put me in a high security prison. No rea- OW! Fine I didn't have a visa." Mulch grumbled. Holly couldn't believe it. Nothing was going right. They saw Sool talking with that alien. She knew it.

"Now, Ms. Short, may I inquire why you brought a human down to Haven?" Sool smugly asked. Holly was at a lose of words. She could be put in prison for bringing Artemis down to Haven.

"She didn't," Trouble interfered, "I did. He was going to be questioned on a case I was working on."

"There is no real evidence that Sool is guilty of what you are accusing Major Kelp," the board member told Trouble. "And you should be ashamed for accusing your commanding officer for such a thing."

"Yes, Sir" Trouble stammered while looking at his feet.

"And as for Mr. Fowl, he is leaving on the next shuttle. That's 3 hours. Trouble you will escort him there," said Sool.

"Yes, Sir," Trouble, Holly, and Artemis walked out of the room feeling defeated and confused.

"I don't understand it," Holly stuttered. "How? How did he do it?"

"I don't know Holly, but we're going to go talk to Foaly," Trouble answered. The trio walked up the LEP headquarters, getting dirty looks from anyone who happened to see them. It was really not a good day. When they reached Foaly's door, it was shut. Holly walked up to it and knocked.

"Foaly! It's us let us in!" There was no answer. "Come on, Foaly! This is important!" Holly was starting to get worried. "FOALY!" Still no one answered the door. Trouble was getting annoyed and he wasn't in a good mood from the board meeting.

"Foaly open up or I'll blast the door down!" Trouble called. Not really even waiting, Trouble pulled out his gun, set it for high, and fired it at the door. There was a loud SMASH as the door hit the floor. When they looked in, no one was there, but there was a message on the computer.

_Holly, Artemis, and Trouble, I have a strong idea that I've been kidnapped. I'm in this room with lots of buttons and computer stuff. And I'm in the woods. I bet it's where we saw Sool go. So anyways some help would be appreciated. And I think you might want to hurry according to the freaky looking alien guy there's 30 hours until the evil robots come. Oh, and Holly, I reinstated you to the LEP. Your belt, uniform, and badge are in the drawer. I think this might make travel a bit easier. Any way hope to see you guys soon. Toodles_

_-Foaly_

Holly this time was not only shocked, she was pissed off! Sool blames her for Root's death, humiliates them in front of the board, and puts Mulch in jail for no reason. AND NOW he kidnapped one of her best friends._ I think I'm going to kill Sool. _

Holly was sitting outside, watching the traffic. Trouble walked outside and sat next to her.

"Trouble," Holly started. "This is getting really dangerous, anyone who Artemis or I are connected with, are disappearing or something bad happened to them. I know you want to help, but you can't."

"Holly, how could I say yes to that? Sool is trying to take over the world! How can I sit back and watch that?"

"Could you do it for me?" Holly turned to look at Trouble. Her bright hazel eyes were partly glossed over by tears. "I know it sounds bad to not help us, but you can't. I know some people who _can_ help us. You need to stay here and get forces ready to go against the robots."

"Holly please don't try to do this by your-" He didn't get a chance to finish. Holly had embraced him in a loving kiss. Her soft lips were pressed against his. He felt every inch of her soul rush through him in a moment of passion and lust. And for a moment there was no Sool, aliens, or any other problems in the world.

"Ahem. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Holly and Trouble turned around to see Artemis with a look of smugness that would have put Foaly to shame.

"Die, mud boy. Die in a dark, lonely corner." Holly said, getting up. "Come on Artemis, we've got to make that shuttle. Trouble please listen to what I said."

"I will," And Holly and Artemis walked down to the shuttle port, off on another adventure.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Same note as always.

While getting in the shuttle, Artemis wondered how in the world did Holly plan to defeat Sool and a lot of alien robots. It didn't make much sense how they could. He was a genius, but his geniusness could only do so much. They were only one human and one fairy.

"Holly? How are we going to stop them? We don't exactly have an army here."

"I'm aware of this, Artemis. You may not know this, but there are aliens everywhere on earth. They are monitored by a secret organization called Men In Black. I'll tell you more once we get in the pod." Holly flashed the pod guy her visa. He looked rather suspicious. They couldn't really blame him though. Holly had only quit the LEP about a month ago. Holly and Artemis got into the pod. Artemis, knowing Holly's driving clamped himself in quite tightly. Holly toke off and they were down the chutes again.

"So, about this MIB?" Artemis asked. "Can they help us? And do the People know about them?"

"I don't think they have much of a choice but to help us. First it's aliens. That's their jurisdiction. Second, they owe us."

"And how is that?"

"About 16 years ago some trolls got to the surface. We still don't know how they got there, but anyway MIB thought they were aliens of some sort, but had no idea how to fight them. Then, the people stepped in to help. I was still in training at the time, but they needed all the help they could get so I stepped in to help. After all the trolls were gone, MIB started to wipe out the memories of all the people of what happened. They got everyone including Foaly. I hid out for a bit and they skipped over me. I'm the only fairy who knows about them."

"Holly, I have a bit of a confession to make. Last night I found MIB's web site. I was kind of planning on a bit of stealing because they seemed rich."

Holly sighed. "Mud Boy, when will you just stop with all the freaking stealing? Did you not learn any thing from the Spri- HEY Wait! On that net sheet, does it say where there headquarters is located?"

"Let me see." Artemis said bringing out the piece of paper. "It sort of does somewhere in New York City. Next to a Hot Dog stand."

"Well that's helpful. It would make sense that we look for a building where lots of people in black suites are going into."

"I guess so."

Most of the rest of the ride was ridden in silence. Artemis was dealing with a very unfamiliar emotion. Raw rage. Who the hell did Sool think he was? He mesmerized his mother and his bodyguard to kill him. Holly, although was pissed off at Sool, was also rather happy. She'd gotten something off he back, and now she was going off on another LEP adventure.

Once they had gotten off the shuttle, Holly shielded and gave Artemis the cam foil. He knew the drill. Artemis in cam foil attached to moon belt, attached to Holly. And they were off. Holly forgot how much she liked flying. When she could actually fly with out worry of being seen. The air was crisp and fresh. That is, it was until they get to New York City, but the air was still fresher than underground.

Descending, so Holly could see each little hotdog stand, Holly noticed two men walking down the road in black suites. They had just gotten out of an entirely black car and were heading towards a big building. One was rather old. He looked about 50 and was white. The other looked about 25 or so and was black.

"I think we found our MIB friends," Holly whispered.

"So it would seem," Artemis answered. Holly descended low enough to about 5ft above the MIB agents. They didn't seem to notice that something was above them. When they entered the MIB building Holly unshielded, and landed.

"MIB. It's been a long time." The two agents turned around swiftly, guns drawn. The fat guy who usually reads the paper in the lobby looked up. Artemis didn't feel like getting his brains blown off onto the walls. So he more or less hid behind Holly.

"Who da hell are you? And how did you get in here?" The agent who looked like he was trigger-happy said.

"We followed you in here. I'm-"

"A fairy from the LEP," the other agent finished for her. "I thought we neuralyzed all of you."

"Well, you obviously missed one," Holly snickered. "But don't worry. I'm the only one you missed."

"Good look here," the trigger-happy guy said pulling out a metal stick with a little flashing light.

"No, Jay wait," the old guy told the trigger-happy guy. "Why are you here?"

"Our evil Commander is trying to take over the world. And he's getting help from aliens to do it. I thought you guys might be willing to help, considering it's your job."

"Oh come on, Kay. Are we going to take this from a 3ft tall person, with elf ears, and a scrawny kid hiding behind her?"

"I resent that," Artemis said, stepping forward. "And what Holly is saying is true. I would think the great MIB would know if their planet is being invaded."

"Boy! You in trouble for that one!" Jay yelled trying to wrap his hands around Artemis's neck. Kay held him back.

"We need to go some were else to talk," Kay told the duo, while still trying to hold Jay back.

Jay and Kay led Holly and Artemis to a room where all the walls were made of glass. The room had a desk, a screen on one wall, and four chairs. Holly, Artemis, Jay, and Kay had a seat.

"Now what is happening?" Kay asked Holly.

"Our commander of LEP is trying to take over the world and he's getting help from aliens to do it. And the alien has technology to make all of LEP's and human weapons useless. Considering the MIB uses weapons for all over the universe, I figured you guys could help."

"If you live underground, then why are you concerned about it?" Kay asked the fairy.

"The alien said the robots that are going to attack would be able to get underground."

"Why you got the little pale kid with ya?" Jay said.

"I am a friend of the People and Holly saved me from my mom and my bodyguard from trying to kill me. Which, by the way, Sool caused."

"So, will you guys help us?" Holly inquired.

"Well since it is our job to keep aliens from conquering the world and we do owe the People a favor I guess we have no choice," Kay said getting up. "What's you're guy's name anyway?"

"I'm Holly Short and that is Artemis Fowl." Holly told them.

"Artemis Fowl?" Jay said astonished, "Dude I always thought you was some kind of alien or something being that smart!" Artemis didn't really appreciate this comment and expressed this with his fingers.

"Okay you two, quit acting like kids," Kay commanded. Jay and Artemis were staring each other down. "Since we're helping you guys you need to follow our procedures."

"Ok, then," Holly agreed getting up. "That seems fair."

"Then, let's go put it on." Jay told the human and fairy.

"Put what on?" Holly and Artemis asked simultaneously.

"The last suit you'll ever wear," Kay answered.

"I seriously doubt that," Artemis told the agents.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Same note as always

Artemis really didn't know what to expect when they said the last suit you'll ever wear. When he finally noticed that all the MIB peeps were wearing black suits and only black suits, he kind of got the idea. Jay and Kay led them to a really big closet full of black suits in all sizes. Kay pulled what looked like a kids size skirt suit out for Holly and a very, very, very small adult size for Artemis.

"A skirt?" Holly asked being handed the midget suit.

"It's actually a skort," Kay said. "We can't really expect our girl agents to do their job well in skirts."

"Oh."

After they put their suits on, Artemis got a pair of what color? Of course, black dress shoes. And Holly could, in no way, walk, let alone fight in high heels. So she got a pair of shoes that looked like a cross between tennis shoes and boots. After getting suited up they almost looked like real MIB agents, except they were missing one thing. The glasses.

They had the suit, shoes, and glasses. Now they needed the cool guns. Walking into the weapons room Artemis's eyes got really big, really fast. He saw all the shiny weapons, and thought of how much money they could be worth. Then mentally slapped himself. _Do you honestly think they will let you keep your memory of them after this? And no more shady business. That almost got Butler killed. _

Kay led them to a special weapons vault and handed Artemis a gun that looked like a toy. It fit in the palm of his hand. While as Jay gave Holly a gun that was as long as her arm, and had blue stuff inside it. Holly looked pleased. Artemis looked scared.

Kay grabbed a gun that was about as big as Holly's only it had 3 little holes for the bullets or what ever it shot to come out. Jay grabbed a gun that was pure shininess. It had some little logo on the side.

After the weapons were obtained, the four of them walked into the MIB garage. Kay brought out a little button thing, pushed a button and a car came up to them. And what color was it? Black, of course. Kay got in the driver seat. Jay got in the passenger seat. Holly and Artemis climbed in the back.

"You want to call Zed and tell him what's going on?" Jay asked Kay.

"Already done."

"What? When?"

"When you were fighting with the kid. He said he'd get some people ready for it."

"Alright, then. WAIT! Where's Frank?" In the rear view mirror they saw the little pug running after the car, barking. "Ah, just leave him. He'll be fine." Once they were out of the parking lot, Kay put an invisible shield over the car, pressed a weird little button, and they had a rocket car. Holly and Artemis reached for their seat belts. Thinking, _this is not going to be a fun ride._ They had the look, the suit, and the car. And they were ready to kick some alien ass.

A/N: BOOYA! REVIEW you know you want to!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Same note as always

As the car ride went on, Kay was really restraining the urge to gouge Jay's eyes out. He was a grown man fighting with a 14 year old kid. And the sad part is, he was losing. Holly wasn't much of a help either. _These 2 hours are just really going to fly by._ He thought.

"I've seen chairs with a greater intelligence than you."

"Well, at least I'm not some scrawny little pale kid who does nothing but sit in front of the computer!"

"Hey! I resent that!" Artemis yelled.

"No you resemble that." Kay shot back.

"Don't be mean to him," Holly interfered. "It takes a computer a lot of time to bleach one's skin."

"Thanks Holly, that was really helpful." So that was how it went for the next two hours. It was either Artemis and Jay fighting, or Holly and Kay trying to shut them up. They failed pathetically. So everyone was happy when they landed.

The sun was starting to rise through the dense trees. Fresh dew was still clinging onto leaves and grass. There was a smell of woods and fresh air when the four got out of the car.

"So where's the ship?" Holly asked.

"It's over near that clearing," Kay answered pointing near a clearing roughly a hundred yards away.

"So we need to think of our plan of attack," Artemis said sitting in the lotus position on the grass.

"Boy! What are you doing!" Jay yelled pulling Artemis up off the ground. "This is no time to be relaxing on the ground."

"I _was_ getting ready to plan our strategy my short tempered and ignorant friend. That is what I do. I don't go into the major danger; I plan the strategy for _other _people to go into danger. Wait! That didn't come out rig-"

He didn't get a chance to finish. Holly had him pinned to the car, and she looked pissed! Frankly she didn't like hearing about how Artemis stays behind so other people can go into danger, and her eyes showed it. It was Artemis's lucky day because before Holly could turn him into a part of the car Kay pulled her off him.

"I _said_ that didn't come out right! What I meant was I really have no experience with a gun of any kind. You fairies need to let people finish before you try to turn them into an appendix of a car."

"Whatever."

"Ok let's get down to business," Jay said pulling out a little computer from his jacket. "We have a 3D blue print of the ship. We just need a plan that doesn't involve the robots coming _or_ getting us blown to bits. Any idea pale boy?"

"As a matter of fact yes, I do."

After seeing the blue print, Artemis thought of a plan. They would divide into two groups. One would disengage the robots and save Foaly. The other would find Sool and Withahalf, and take 'em down. It would be Holly and Kay in one group and Jay and Artemis would be in the other. Obviously Jay and Artemis weren't jumping with joy at the groups.

"Why should I have to work with some one who couldn't tell the difference between a toad and a frog?"

"Why should I have to work with some snobby kid who thinks he's better than everyone else?" Jay whined.

"Because you are probably the only one who can disengage Foaly's cell and the robots." Holly explained.

"And so Artemis doesn't get killed." Kay finished.

"Fine," Jay and Artemis mumbled. So after a minor fight the group broke into pairs and stared another save the world kind of thing.

A/N: It's getting near the end don't pretend you aren't excited! REVIEW!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Same note as always but just in case you for got I don't own Artemis Fowl or MIB

After the group split up Holly and Kay went around back to try to stop the evil fairy with the attitude and the alien with the weird name. When they got to the door Holly tried to use her old Netrino to open the door, only to find out that it didn't work. The device to stop the fairy technology had obviously taken affect.

"Great." Holly moaned. "I don't suppose that you might have something to get the door open?"

"I think I have something," Kay said digging in his pocket. He pulled out something that resembled a communicator. He pressed a button on it, and a little sliver of something that looked like tape came out of a little compartment. Kay put a few pieces on the door hinges, and pressed a button. Instantly the hinges started melting and the door opened easily.

"Jupiter spy equipment can be so helpful," Kay snickered putting the communicator like thing back in his jacket. With that the pair walked into the dark corridors of the ship.

Artemis wasn't having a fun time. Jay thought he would be very showoffy and, only had managed to get them captured. He also detested the smell that was coming off the alien Withahalf. It smelled like bacon grease. Artemis had always hated bacon with a passion

Flashback: (Not why he hates bacon but how they got captured)

Jay and Artemis had taken the entrance Holly and Kay had taken to get in the ship. Once in, they were able to make it about 3 feet in before a fight broke out. Jay still didn't think he wanted to be paired up with a pale, scrawny, and adolescent kid. And Artemis didn't want to be paired up with an obnoxious, annoying, and loud idiot.

"Why I should be forced to deal with your idiotic, miniature, and fallacious behavior is beyond even me."

"I swear white boy you call me one more name that I don't understand-"

"You'll what? Call me a bad name from your increasingly depleting vocabulary?" Jay was speechless, and he was really getting annoyed with this kid.

"I swear, after this I'm gonna neuralyze you right into the crazy hous-"

"SSHHH"

"Don't you shh me boy. I'm the professional here I'll-"

"SShhh, I hear something. It's coming from behind that corner over there." Artemis whispered pointing near a corner. With out warning six heavily armored and heavily armed soldiers sprang from various positions along the shadows. They had been there the entire time, and they would have known if they hadn't decided to go at each other's throats.

Jay instinctively drew his shiny gun and started firing in every which way. Artemis, tried to pull the gun out, almost shot himself, dropped it, and shot the ground before he actually could try to shoot. The first real shot blew a 4 foot hole in the wall. _Well so much for being secretive. _Artemis thought. He tried to shoot again and amazingly hit something. Jay's gun, how smart of him.

It kind of went downhill from there. The soldiers after realizing that the person who could actually aim had lost his gun and the kid with a gun couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat, they moved in. Artemis tried to defend himself, but it looked more like he was trying to break dance and failing badly. The aliens put the partner's hands behind their back and walked them down to _the boss's _office.

"I blame you." Jay hissed.

-End Flashback

A/N: Sorry couldn't think of any better way to end the chapter. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to penguin two, my faithful reviewer. Hope ya like it!

After Jay and Artemis's sad attempt of a fight, they were in a room with the spiked haired aliens Withahalf. His eye's showed that he was most displeased.

"Oh Sool," the pissed off alien called, "please come in here." The three foot commander walked into the room.

"What do you want?" Sool said coming in. When he saw Artemis his eyes went from annoyed to pissed off. "How did you survive?"

"Was there another pathetic attempt to end my life after the council meeting?"

"I hid a bomb in the shuttle you were _supposed_ to take to get out of Haven." The fairy stammered.

"Ah so that was what that explosion was about 1.35 minutes after we left. You really need help on programming a bomb my crazy fairy friend." Artemis said with a smile despite the situation.

"I didn't think MIB would be a problem," Withahalf thought out loud.

"Oh yeah," Jay said attempting to pull out his badge like thing out of his pocket. "Withahalf you are under arrest for not logging in with MIB personal and for working with insane short people."

"Jay, I hardly think this is the time."

"The boy is right agent Jay," Withahalf chuckled "You see, now that you have found out my plans you must be terminated." Withahalf pointed to something that looked like an electric chair.

"Were I'm from they consider the electric chair a cruel and unusual punishment." Artemis told the blue haired freak.

"Well good, because I'm all about cruel and unusual. Agent Jay you get to go first." The creepy soldiers started walking Jay toward the chair that just sent the "danger danger don't get on me vibe." Artemis had to think fast. He wasn't the jay's biggest fan but him dieing would not help anything. He studied the chair hard trying to find one weak spot. After about .5 seconds he saw one. Jay had one chance to do exactly what he said.

"Jay turn 90 degrees right and kick to your left at a 45 degree angle at the chair." Artemis called. If Jay listened and did it right he would hit the chairs one weak spot. Jay, seeing that he was for the most part screwed anyway, decided to listen to Mr. Pale. When he kicked Jay was shocked to see the chair for the most part collapse.

After narrowly escaping death, Jay had gotten free and was ready to open up a can of whoop ass on anyone who came within 2 feet. Artemis was freed by Jay and, was ready to try to not get killed in attempting to fight. When some unexpected friends showed up.

A/N: I know this chapter was short but the next one is most likely the last, so it will be longer. Reviews would be great!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Muffin Lady 0o. Happy B-day!

Holly and Kay had been looking for Sool for about 10 minutes. Holly was shocked; she thought they would have run into soldiers of some sort by now. After walking for about one more minute they heard a fight going on. Kay was sure it somehow involved Jay and Artemis.

"Artemis and Jay are probably in that fight. Maybe we should go help," Holly told Kay.

"Na, Jay does that for a living he should be fine. Let's keep moving." They kept moving until they came to a hall that just screamed "don't go down." Then they heard some one screaming. A soldier ran out of a room screaming. Holly and Kay didn't get it all but they thought they heard something along the lines of: "HE WON'T SHUT UP! MAKE HIM STOP! AAAHHHHGGG! MAKE IT STOP! HELP!"

"Huh, if I didn't know better I'd say we found Foaly's cell." Which of course, she was right. Foaly had been kept in a room with all the monitors and was having a fun time torturing his guards. From pushing random buttons, to whining about the most stupidest of things, like the air in the room is to stale, he wanted water, what kind of name is Foaly? Why did his parents name him that? Couldn't they have been a bit more creative? It goes with out saying that Foaly was annoying someone, and it wasn't himself.

"Poor guards" Holly sighed. "Never stood a chance," Walking into the room Holly saw the MIB agent and the scrawny pale kid (as Jay would say) on the monitors. They had gone and gotten themselves captured. "Dar'vit" Holly muttered. "Foaly we've got to go Artemis and Jay need our help."

"Hi Foaly. Nice to see you Foaly. Hope you've been okay. Thanks for sounding sssooo concerned."

"Foaly, I'll give you the whole missed you package after we save Artemis." And they were off to save the two who obviously needed some help in the not getting killed area.

When they found the door, Foaly was a little aggravated from being captured and his only form of entertainment gone, decided that instead of opening the door he would knock it down instead. That might have been a bad idea. When Foaly knocked it down, the door kind of landed on Jay, knocking him out.

"Hello Foaly, nice of you to drop by," Artemis said looking down at the knocked out MIB agent. "And you too Holly."

"Um Jay?" Kay questioned poking Jay. (Yeah I know he wouldn't do that) Before Kay could revive his partner, the fighting broke out. Artemis was trying to do the fighting thing, which _still_ looked like he was trying to break dance and failing pathetically. Sool was just kind of laying low. Withahalf and Holly were duking it out. Holly was trying her best but wasn't really wining. Each punch was a narrow dodge.

Kay was now sick of this mission. He was increasingly getting annoyed at this Withahalf person, and he didn't have his favorite gun. Kay raised the weapon he had brought with him, aimed and fired. It was a direct hit to Withahalf. Getting hit, Withahalf exploded into millions of millions of tiny sparkly things. The so called loyal soldiers made a run for it after this.

Sool saw that things were not going as planned. He didn't like it when this happened. Although he saw an opportunity to make a run for it, he didn't take it. He was sick of Artemis Fowl and wanted him gone of the face of this and any other planet. Seeing a gun that one of the soldiers dropped, Sool picked it up a sneaked up behind Artemis. He grabbed Artemis around the neck and held the weapon to the adolescent's head.

"So what's the great Artemis Fowl going to do now? You make have ruined my plan but I still win."

"Artemis! NO!" Holly yelled trying to get to Artemis.

"Checkmate boy." Sool whispered in Artemis's ear starting to put pressure on the trigger. Before he got a chance to, Sool got a little surprise, an intergalactic bullet to the head. Jay had apparently woken up during the fight, and saw the pale boy in trouble. Took aim and fired. Sool exploded into millions of little sparkly red things.

"Charming," muttered Artemis.

After the incident Artemis returned home. With all his memories too. MIB and LEP decided to start an alliance to monitor things and help each other out. Artemis got to keep his memories, only because MIB thought he could help when they needed it, and they thought he might make a good agent when he was older. Artemis doubted it, but it was good to have his memories. All of them too.

Trouble got promoted too commander of LEP. He and Holly started dating. And Foaly, he still as annoying as ever. LEP helped mind wipe Angeline of ever being mesmerized. And pick up his house, by the time Artemis got home, it looked liked the whole trying to kill Artemis thing never happened. When Artemis entered the house he was greeted by Butler, who refused to accept Artemis's pleas that he was ok.

Artemis was now lying in his bed starring at the ceiling. He was now sure that he was done with the stupid shady business. He had his parents and his bodyguard friend. When his parents gave him some surprising news, he was going to have a little sister. _Well Holly and Trouble are together. Maybe I might want to maybe start trying to think of things that normal boys my age might be thinking about. Just at a much higher level. There is that dance coming up at school, and that Cathy in advanced calculus is kind of cute…_

**END**

A/N: Yeay! It's finally done. Sorry if Artemis was a bit oc near the end. I needed some way to end it! Reviews would be awesomest posemest. Hope you liked it as much I liked writing it! Peace out!


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